random poem - streem of conciousness, kind of...

Ding dang dong,
What went wrong,
I chewed a moose loose,
And the government's angry,
Hope they don't sue,
I can play my kazoo,
It's a magic one too,
It will take me to Lutonarr,
A cloud above Utah,
Fluffy and white,
What a delight!
Shame in the shoes,
Shame in the shoes,
Shit were's my roof?
Don't care - i'm aloof,
Walking in the rain,
Shoes of shame.

Austin and the Lost Treasure of Camden

see those pictures down there? click upon them to make them bigger. (if you like)
I thought I would type it out too for silly people who have trouble with crayon.
Austin the mantis shrimp was around Camden Market one fine morning, when he came across a massive X on the ground next to a Russian man.
"WO!" he exclaimed, (it's like the ocean)
"Treasure!... Groovy!" Austin rummaged about in his briefcase until he found his shovel - he began to dig.
He carried on for ages, some say he was digging for 3 and a half days without pauses!
Anyway, eventually his shovel hit something hard.
"Yessssss!" he quickly heaved out the object - it was a whopping great treasure chest!
"Flippin' 'eck!" said the Russian man as Austin hauled the chest up out of the whole.
"'E's only gone an' found the Lost Treasure of Camden!"
"You're not Russian," said Austin,
"where's the real Russian?"
"On 'is tea break."
"I need a wee" said a nearby pigeon.
THE END

vince the eagle and sarah the vole. true story.

One time, recently - i was having a great time on Facebook, talking to my mate Issy. When out of NOWHERE a mighty eagle (called Vince) burst through my bedroom window, smashing it all to bits, and stole me!! Now this was pretty traumatic for me and, to be honest, very upsetting.

He just kept flying for oh i dunno - at lest 4 minutes with me in his... err... feet. I was beginning to feel woozy and to contemplate whether i would escape this highly awkward situation with my life (and all my limbs).

Anyway - it wasn't looking good and i was ready to give in when a passing vole (Sarah) took pity on me. She had stern words with Vince and convinced him to put me down and say sorry.

So everything panned out alright. Me and Sarah went to Starbucks to let me catch my breath - we got free frappachinos on account of me being all flustered - also Sarah worked there part time.

Once we'd finished our frappachinos, I invited her back to my place for a bit, we just clicked you see - and also, naturally, I was eternally grateful to her for saving my life etc. So yeah, she came back to mine for a bit, and um, when I returned I found that Issy had sent me a lot of annoyed messages asking why I had just left in the middle of a convo. So I told her what happened - and to my disgust, dismay, and disbelief - she didn't believe me. So i gave her Sarah's number - and she rang up, and Sarah answered, so i thought - "Ok, she can't argue with that. it's hard evidence!" Yet, would you believe, she did!! anyway there was a bit of an argument, and i won coz everyone took my side and also I'm the best.

me xx